Finding Your Way to Victory: The Power of Hope in Chronic Pain
It all begins with an idea.
Thomas Merton, the renowned Trappist monk and writer, once stated, “In order to gain possession of ourselves, we have to have some confidence, some hope of victory. And in order to keep that hope alive we must usually have some taste of victory. We must know what victory is and like it better than defeat.”
As I’m nearing completion of my Compassionate Inquiry (CI) training, giving the client a taste of victory is one of the last steps of the CI protocol. For those grappling with persistent discomfort, the path to a taste of victory can seem particularly daunting. It also makes me think of anyone who’s suffering with a mental illness, suicidal ideation, eating disorder, substance abuse and anyone else suffering-how sometimes we need others to hold hope (and taste of victory) for us until we can experience victory for ourselves.
Something I’ve been noticing lately both in my practice and in the greater massage therapy community is this idea that because someone has lived with pain for most of their life or the pain has become debilitating and impacting their quality of life, nothing is going to change. The pain will always be there, massage may help temporarily, but the pain always persists. The language we use every day, the sensations we focus on, and the words we tell ourselves have a huge impact on our perception of pain and what is possible the realm of victory vs. defeat. Holding onto the small wins rather than giving into the defeat.
How *do* you know things will get better? What if you’ve never felt relief? Or that relief is so far in the past it’s difficult to remember a time without it? What if more days than not, you don’t have hope that things will improve or that the pain can be managed? What if your massage therapist/partner/friends/family/yourself keeps telling you or reminding you about your knots/posture/sciatica/tension rather than acknowledging the parts of your body that are capable of movement and might not feel pain?
These are crucial questions and anxieties that often arise when navigating chronic pain. Merton's words offer a pathway forward. The "possession of ourselves" he speaks of is not just about physical health, but about mental and emotional well-being too. It's about reclaiming control and agency over your life, even amidst significant pain.
The first step, according to Merton, is confidence. This doesn't mean denying the pain; it means believing in your resilience and capacity for healing. It means trusting in your body's inherent ability to adapt and find new ways to function. This confidence is not a feeling that magically appears; it is cultivated through consistent effort and self-compassion.
Next, we need hope of victory. This isn't about expecting a complete eradication of pain, but about setting realistic, achievable goals. These goals could be as simple as increasing your range of motion by a few degrees, extending your pain-free activity window by a few minutes, or simply experiencing a moment of genuine relief. Celebrate these small victories; they're essential for sustaining hope.
Finally, we need to know what victory feels like and choose it over defeat. This means actively seeking moments of respite, appreciating moments of reduced pain, and focusing on what your body can do, rather than dwelling solely on what it cannot. This conscious shift in focus is crucial for breaking the cycle of negativity and despair.
Massage therapy, among other therapeutic modalities, can play a vital role in this process. A skilled therapist can help you rediscover the possibilities within your body. It's not a magic bullet, but it's a tool that offers a pathway towards those small victories – those tastes of success — that feed the hope and confidence needed to gain possession of yourself, even in the face of chronic pain. Remember, the journey is rarely linear. There will be setbacks, but focusing on progress, however small, will keep you moving forward.